Stoopid Things You've Seen At Ski Areas
February 15, 2005
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Last night at Whitetail, I witnessed one of those occasional acts of foolishness that just makes you scratch your head in disbelief. I've just checked my skis and am walking on the concrete sidewalk to enter the lodge. When I get to the lodge door, I notice a pair of skis and a set of poles lying on the rough metal grating designed to scrape snow off of your boots. The ski and poles were neatly left in between the entrance and the exit, ski bases lying flat on the grate, side by side. It looked as if someone had skied right up to the door, and stepped out of their skis. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I think. After a quick pit stop in the lodge, I notice upon my exit, that the skis are now pointed in the opposite direction, with a pre-teen strapped to them. With skis on, he then proceeds to walk across the rest of the grate, across the concrete, and back onto the slopes.
So what acts of foolishness have people seen at ski areas?
Wow that is really tough to beat, I'll have to dig deep. The only thing that comes to mind immediately is the time I was at Vail and I see these two late middle aged women in full on full length fur coats and big
a@# fur hats, gucci hand bags etc. making their way through the village with skis over their shoulders like we are supposed to believe they will ever touch snow. That just looked ludicrous
Can't beat that story for skiing. For golfing I was waiting for my partner to show up for a quick 18 @ Willow Springs. Two ladies come up and inform the pro that they've hit balls w/ their husbands but that this is their first time golfing and need to know what to do. He tells them to go the tee-box w/ the red tees, tee the ball up and hit it.
A few minutes later my partner shows up and we head down to the tee. The ladies are still there. They ask us if we can help them because they're having a heck of a time getting the golf ball to balance on the tee. We ask them to show us what they've been doing and they proceed to try placing the ball on top of the tee marker.
I didn't laugh at them then, but I did laugh for about the first 9 holes.
At Seven Springs I have often seen testosterone soaked male teenage skier/boarders (at night) line up to do a speed run down the narrow Cortina Trail that comes off the top of the Cortina Quad. Where the trail merges with the Stowe slope, it turns sharply and blends into the Wagner Slope. At this turn there is usually a lip and drop that merges into Stowe where you can get air (after bombing the Cortina Trail). If the mood strikes me and the snow is good, I will ocaisionally go up after work for a few hours under the stars. On this particular night I was skiing a stash of fluffy moguls near the woods on the opposite side of Stowe. I stopped at the midway point to catch my breath on the downhill side of a tree in the woods as I usually do. I looked over to my right to see a very inexperienced looking dude catch air off the lip. He landed, legs and arms flailing and proceeded to bisect the somewhat moguled Stowe Slope, maintaing both speed and balance somehow over the uneven terrain. As he approached me, I kept edging closer to that tree I was behind, praying that it was wide enough to protect my stocky frame. As he got near the woods, he hit a large mogul and was launched head first into the woods. He was one lucky SOB as he managed to miss about 5 large trees and land in a pile of scrub. After breathing a sigh of releif, I asked him if he was OK. "Yeah dude, I'm OK" came the reply, "Not bad for a first run".....
Second place was the poor woman who lost control at the bottom of the Tyrol slope, went airborn over the edge, and landed in the Tennis Court.
When there is snow and you park in the upper lot at 7 Springs you can ski to and from your vehicle. One evening a friend and I were going back to the car for a break. We were taking off our skis at the edge of the parking lot given that the snow in parking lot was kind of patchy. When all of the sudden two guys came flying by us hooting and hollaring as they raced each other to their car. My friend and I looked at each other and said that we both had thought about skiing out to the car, but were afraid to hit the gravel. Right as we were talking about this, the two skiers hit a gravel patch and were ejected from their skis and were cart wheeling across the parking lot. Luckily, they only had torn ski pants and a few scratches. We thought we were going to pee in our pants from laughter.
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"Yeah dude, I'm OK" came the reply, "Not bad for a first run".....
BAAAHAHAHAH I about spit soda on my screen when I read that lol.
I've seen some very nice skis thrown about like that at liberty. People just kind of leave them sitting in the open not even close to the racks. I'm surprised they don't 'disapeer'
I saw it last weekend at Blue Knob.
Male and female snowboarders. Tooling down Shortway, male deciedes to stop and sit down: in the middle of a trail under a bump so all you can see from above is his head. Female joins him. They lay down and commence making out. They are now invisible from above.
By this time I has passed them and stopped - waiting on my friend who was fast approaching.... and guess where his line was? He was 90% recovered from a knee injury... so I waved him off saving their arses (he was the only one I was concerned about however.
He stops and we chuckle about it... then here comes a line of identically dressed beginners.... we just shrugged and left.
I wonder how that turned out!
I figure that if you ski long enough, you will eventually see it all...
Last Thursday, I was at Whitetail for a great day of skiing. Perfect conditions, no crowds...couldn't believe it. I was at the hi speed lift pounding runs on Limelight and as I was just getting ready to load, I heard the attendant yell and I looked up and saw a young couple starting to load onto the chair, but they stopped way before the loading line just as the chair swings around and the attendant was warning them not to do that next time. No biggie until I glanced down and noticed that the girl was wearing an ankle length tight black skirt - NO she was not a Mennonite - rather she was an idiot with an even dumber boyfriend. I laughed all the way up the mountain but I very carefully watched ahead as they unloaded and sure enough.....wooooommmmfffff....she took a header right at the top of the unload ramp and here I come right at her. No problem, I slid around around her and attempted to help her up, she had trouble getting up onto her skis. This was obviously her first time on skis and she was about to try her first run every on a blue in a skirt...go figure! Boyfriend obviously had skiied before, but was either very dumb, or tired of dating this girl. Anyway, I skiied off shaking my head believing that now I had truly seen everything. Quick run down and back in the chair I was joined by a ski patrol guy and told him the story. We kept our eyes open watching for them coming down the mountain. They were no where to be seen. As we approached the top - there they were - another ski patrol dude had intercepted her and forced her to remove her skis and ride the chair back down LOL after the unloading lift attendant radioed for help. Thank God he did or we would have read about her in the paper!
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Liberty eh?
I'll have to speculate and see how hard it would be to grab a few an' r-u-n-n-o-f-t.
I've seen quite a few stupid things... one of my favorites occurred at Winterplace a few seasons back when a man's wife, who had obviously never skied before, turned around as she loaded the lift and tried to climb knees-first into it.
Of course... I've probably done some things most of you would call stupid.. my brother, a friend, and a former Timberline Courtesy Patroller were hitting a jump at the bottom of Good Intentions a number of years ago. Well, we had another friend with us... Spleeny, who had ruptured his spleen opening weekend at Snowshoe. So he was sitting in a lawn chair he brought over taking pictures. Well, one thing led to another and pretty soon we were airing this chair. Typical 10 year-old Tar Heel Tuckin' kid comes screaming down the trail and we don't even bother moving the chair... it was easy enough to go around it. But no, kid plows SMACK into it and goes head over heels. Kid's mom comes down and starts screaming at us (take the typical snow bunny and age it a bit, that's the kind of lady) for being irresponsible when the obstacle was clearly avoidable and noticeable. Of course, we sure got heated by Ski Patrol about it... something about we would go to jail or something... I don't remember especially well. Anyways... Ski Patrol tried to confiscate the chair, things almost got into fisticuffs, and in the end we ended-up putting the chair back in the car.
My all-time personal favorite though goes to a particular drive out of Canaan Valley. At the intersection where the road to Old Timberline branches off we were stopped and this SUV pulls-out from the resort with all the skis on a roof rack. Well that's all good, but they forgot to secure them. So they take that left-hand turn and all of their equipment comes flying off the roof onto the side of the road. Talk about a free base grind. Continuing by them and down the road to 32 we come around the S-bend and there's a truck stuck in a ditch on the other side of the road and people rocking it in the bed to try to get it out. This SUV full of kids comes screaming towards us, cuts to avoid the truck, slides out, and barely cuts back in time to avoid what would've been a very fatal collision. Bet they learned their lesson... slow down and bring a change of pants.
I didn't see it (I was one chair ahead) but one time my wife was getting on the Cascade lift at Silvercreek (a triple) with two of our friend when a lady skied in behind her and took her spot eventually pushing my wife face first into the snow in front of the lift. The lady said she thought it was a quad?
The Drop at TL. Buddy and I ski down to the headwall, icy on the edges but starting to corn up where the bumps are. He's going to take the left side, I'm checking a line on skiers right. All of a sudden we hear scrraaatch, thwack, clatter. Looked at each other waited a sec and started down to find a guy picking up his rossi cut rental skis. We stopped to see if he needed help and he said no he'd be allright. So then he proceeds to put his skis over his shoulder and try to walk down the icy edge
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. We go on and after a few more turns hear thump, ooofff, thwack, clatter, sonufab#tchD#mm!t. Stoopid yes, funny absolutely.
I've got some great stupid human tricks from me and my friends.
My first time ever skiing was at Canaan with my 6th grade class. We were taking the free class they offered and me and my friend got bored so we just left after the "wedge" lesson and started heading down Sissy and Bunny. I decided to try out B-slope which looked HUGE and super steep at the time. I plowed down it, got out of control and wound up plowing into a huge group of disabled skiers on the left at the bottom. I made it down without falling till the bottom though
That same trip had one of my other beginner friends stop at the top of Gravity to look down it. We were all instructed not to go on it or we'd be suspended. He got to the edge, couldn't stop, and fell halfway down the thing before taking his skies off and walking the rest of the way. He didn't gets suspended, just laughed at alot
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Next trip was the next year and I was figuring out parralel turns, or at least trying. I was flying down Valley Vista, went to the left of the mid station, and hit a huge roller and wound up twisting, sliding, and flipping all over the place. The lift attendant thought I was dead
I've since grown up but let me tell ya bout my friends.
My uncle took his family to Snowshoe. They stayed at the Top of the World and rented skies and got there tickets there. None of them had ever tried skiing before but since Widowmaker was the most convenient slope they just went down it. I don't know why the name widowmaker didn't scare them any but my uncle said "I didn't think it could be that hard" so off he and his daughter went. He messed his thumb up pretty bad and she took off her skies and climbed back up to the top and they were both done. He did manage to somehow make it to the bottom eventually. Wish I could have seen that all go down
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I have a friend who refuses to learn how to turn both ways on his snowboard. He can only turn right so if he ever comes to a left hand turn he'll spin all the way around right until he's faced in the right direction. The rest of us keep telling him he needs to at least try to turn left but he's scared or something. He also likes to straightline everything until he reaches terminal velocity and then he just brakes until he stops and catches his breath. Anyway, he's one of those people that absolutely refuses to admit that he's still a beginner so he'll follow you on the blue trails and once followed us to Devils Drop at Wisp. We told him to go down another way but he insisted he could do it. Devils Drop had been blessed with some GREAT natural snow and had moguls everywhere. I told him "you can't straight line this run. If you're gonna do it you have to take it easy and turn in and out of the moguls." seems like common sense but you have to tell him everything. He's like "sure, I know." and off he goes, straight down the slope, hits a mogul, and flies 5 feet in the air, bouncing off moguls and twisting and turning all over the place until he finally stopped about 5 or 6 moguls later. Good thing they were powdery on top. It was classic though.
This same friend was snowboarding in front of me about 100 yards at Timberline. I like to let him go ahead. He decided he would cut into the trees just above mid mountain. Remember, he can't turn both ways so I see him down the hill, cut through the trees, make a beautiful right hand turn in front of a tree and then just bust, again falling and rolling all over the place until his board T-boned a tree. Unbelievable. I got down there and he was just like nothing happened. I seriously thought I was gonna get down there and his head was gonna be split open. That one really scared me.
We've tried and tried to get him to slow down and stay away from hard objects but he just thinks he's indistructable and never worries about the other people on the slope. Pretty sad for a 24 year old. I refused to go boarding with him after that.
My friends brother went to Keystone a few years ago for his honeymoon. He'd never been boarding so he rented one and went to the top. He got off the lift, didn't know what symbols meant what and wound up going down a black diamond, catching an edge, and falling with his fist into his ribs. The patrol had to snowmobile him off and he had broken ribs for the rest of his honeymoon. Lesson here: no new extreme sports on your honeymoon
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Last one. me and some friends were at Breck. One friend climbs peak 8 and me and the other guy just hang out on the groomers. We're supposed to meet at the lodge on peak 8 but he never shows. Turns out he wound up skiing all the way to the base of the mountain and the lifts were closed. He walked through crotch deep snow through the trees, behind condos, and everything in order to make it to a bus. He got on the bus and its last stop dropped him off back where he started his hike through the woods. We thought for sure he was dead until he finally called us about 2 hours after closing on the cell phone. We had to drive down and pick him up at the base. When he got in the car he was SOOO mad. wouldn't even talk to us. We stopped to eat and he started telling this horrible story about trouncing through the snow and getting lost and the bus and yada yada. He was so upset. I said, "how was peak 8" and he lit up and said "MAN IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!!!" and completely forgot about his terrible experience at the base going on to tell us how sweet the powder was and so on. Maybe you had to be there.
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No JR, We've all been there. This thread kinda started slow, thought it wouldn't go far but the more you read the more you remember. Here's some stoopid on me.....Wife and I were on a business trip to Vegas, took a detour to Reno on the way home. Went to Northstar, kind of a 3000 mile daytrip cause we flew back out the following day. Anyway, after sticking w/wifey for a couple hours, we met a local who offered to show us around. Wife said you go ahead, I'm staying here. We skied several of his favorites & he showed me a blue run he said went clear to the bottom, longest run on the hill but he didn't want to hike over to it. We went our separate ways and I went back to meet the wife. I spent the rest of the afternopon skiing w/her but that long run kept bugging me and naturally I kept bugging her. Finally she said she was done for the day, why don't you go ski that run and we'll call it a day. YES! So off i go, but have you ever noticed how a trail never looks the same in real life as it does on the trail map? Skied right past the cutoff to the gondola where we were to meet and ended up back in the Village. No problem, I caught a ride up, got out and there she was with a ski patroller and two other women who were waiting for their injured partners to be brought down. I said hi honey, you'd thought I called her Hitler. Chewed me out in the gondola all the way to the bottom. I still have her so I guess she got over it.
Yeah, its hard just skiing around here to realize just how HUGE some areas out west are and how easy to get lost. When my friend was lost, me and the friend I was with were hanging out on Peak 8. We had binoculars out looking at what turned out to be a rock halfway down peak 8 still well above the tree line. Every minute or so one of us would SWEAR we saw it move. We thought for sure Danny made 4 turns down from the peak and broke his leg and was just lying there.
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Funny how your imagination runs wild when two of you (age 24 and 30) took your 19 year old friend on his first real trip away from home. We kept wondering what we'd say to his mom if he was burried in an avalanche. We decided on something like "You know your oldest son? Well I think he'll turn up in late spring and should still be well preserved."
We were actually stuck a couple ridges over when the lifts closed too. We decided to hike back up a green run so we could board back over to the lodge so its really easy to get stuck out there.
Reading the Keystone story reminded me of a somewhat amusing experience I had there. I went out for some spring skiing one year to Breck. On the second day we hit Keystone. It was about 70 degrees and all I was wearing were some windpants and a t-shirt (still too hot). Around noon the corn was getting nice and thick, so I decided to duck into the trees. Big mistake. I make about three turns and the snow just gives out and I'm suddenly up to my armpits in snow. My bindings didn't even release and now I'm standing in snow w/ a tshirt on. I'd start to dig and my skis would only sink deeper (like quicksand almost). About 40 minutes later I finally dug myself out and was soaked in a mixture of sweat and melted snow.
Which reminds me. One more story from Colorado. Same trip we went to A-Basin. The top was closed due to high winds and we already skied Vail, Key, and Breck so we were beat anyway. We passed on the 40 some dollar tickets and decided to hike it and ski down just to say we skied A-Basin. Cheesy? Yes. You'd do it too :P We didn't want to hike up the open Green trails so we went up one of the mogul runs where people couldn't see us as clearly and nobody was skiing it. We were just going up maybe 300 vert, about the size of he resorts here in Ohio. I went up the side of the trail but stayed pretty much on the trail. I'm pretty light so I made it up through the woods towards the top. I was at the top waiting on them and wondered what happened. Turns out one of my friends climbed through the woods and did the same as you MadMonk. He was up to his armpits. He used his board to dig himself out but since he was deep in the woods he sank like 3 times and had to keep digging out until he reached the trail.
Oh yeah, and another story on that (you can stop reading my rambling if your sick of it
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At Breck we packed PB&J sandwiches in our packs. We decided to go off the trail half way down and just chill in the woods and eat our sandwiches under the bluebird skies. We rode in and then when we got off our boards my friends were walking in waste deep snow while I could just barely hover on top of the crusty layer on top. One guy actually layed on his board and paddled out like a surfboard. It was funny as heck and probably the best PB&J ever injested. priceless.
I lost my 6 yr. old son at Killington on a zero deg. day in a whiteout snowstorm. We had been skiing together on Snowdon on a green trail called Mouse Run (I think). It meanders a bit and there is a mild mogul run called Mouse Trap that goes straight down the fall line crossing the green run twice. In mid afternoon, a bit bored with this, I said, "John I am going to try these moguls, you meet me down where these two trails cross again." To make a long story short the slope is at least 100 yds wide at that point. I waited on the left and John waited on the right and we didn't see each other in the heavy snow. I waited about 45 min. in growing panic asking people if they had seen a little boy in a brown hooded jacket up there and was he allright. Nobody had seen him. All kinds of dire thoughts ran through my head. I went down to the lodge at the bottom of Snowdon and he was inside; what a relief. It was really prior planning that saved the day. At the start of every ski day when my kids were small I would put a $5 bill in their pocket and tell them if they got lost go to the nearest lodge and get a hot chocolate and wait for me. John is 30 now and one of my two best adventure skiing partners, the other being daughter Kathleen. I am sure that $5 won't get you more than one hot chocolate today.
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I constantly beat this in all of my ski group's heads. You don't ski alone when you go out west! You shouldn't do it anywhere but especially any mountain with more than 300 of acres of skiing. You just never know.
how bout an instructor taking beginner group lessons through a crowded halfpipe?
I am not sure if this really qualifies, but it was really funny. I was skiing accross a green slope to meet my boy friend at the base of the double lift at Laurel Mt. About halfway down the slope, I came accross a father/son pair. The kid was probably 4 or 5, and straight-lining it down the slope, weaving all over the place. I started passing the father, and the kid was in front of me, getting further and further ahead of Dad (I tried to pass the kid, but it was a narrow trail and he was wobbling all over the place -- I was afraid I would crash into him!. The father is trying to get the kid to slow down, but can't catch up to him. He keeps yelling "Pizza! Pizza! Jackson, Pizza!" I guess the kid did not want to snowplow down the slope.
Heh,
Another one from laurel mtn on superbowl sunday was pretty bad. Arroudn 3:30 PM that day I was going for my last couple runs before heading home. I wanted to make a final run down the Wild Cat trail and to make it memorable.
I stopped at the top of the lower cat to plan my line. Just then a father and two little girls ski down next to me. The girls were probably 6 and 9 years old. After a brief pause the dad send the littlest one down first. Then about 15 seconds later the next. I am not paying attention to them much to this point. however then the father says something that perks my interest. "Remember not to be affraid or you will tense up and fall all the way to the bottom." I look over to see both girls frozen with terror in the snow plowas they attempt to bring their skis arround in a fre wedge garlands. I turn to the father and say: "So thats how its done? No fear and you will be ok?" He smiles and nods and I commence my run well away from the two paniced novices.
From the lift about 8 minutes later I spy the older girl about 1/2 way down. Still attempting to link her wedge garlands with dad right behind her barking orders, er, um... "coaching her down". So I am not rally sure where the idea came from to take hos two petrified daughters down a truly steep mogul run. They were smart enough to stay out of the larger moguls at least.
He was barely an intermediate and was having not to easy a go of it. In fact I think he nearly crashed into her from behind a few times. So after she stopped once again he wised up and skied arround her to continue his assistance from just below.
After a little more encouragement from dad she goes into a wedge garland near an icey patch, freezes on the ice and then crosses into some soft snow. This cuases her to over balance and then tumble ass over tea kettle right down on top of daddy. The colisiosn knocks him down too and they both go for a little ride. This is the sad sotry of a man who wanted to help his girls to "love sking".
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Gosh, this is so typical of some parents nowdays. It may have not been the case in what you describe tromano (this guy just sounds stupid), but so many parents are so selfish, they can't drag themselves away from the blues/blacks to ski and enjoy time with their kids on the greens. I have seen so many p***ed off parents waiting at the bottom of some mogul run while their toddler walks down or tries to recover from a wreck.
Actually, I saw the exact opposite stoopid thing on Saturday at Roundtop. I'm riding up the Ramrod/Gunbarrel lift and I look over to my left at Gunbarrel's headwall. I see this rugrat zipping down the hill without his skis making like Pete Rose. He slid over a hundred feet (no exaggeration.) When he finally comes to a stop, he looks up the hill and shouts, "Dad, can you get my skis on the way down?"
I look up the headwall, and see this older skier in a mountain-goat stance of desperation trying to keep from falling over on a steep section. Yep, I'm sure he caught his son's skis on the way down.
There was some epic carnage on Gunbarrel on Saturday. But I'm saving that for another thread.
Stoopid thing I saw driving to Roundtop on Saturday: up ahead on the Beltway I see this SUV with a (seemingly) big old poofy mattress tied to the top. When I finally pass the SUV I find out the mattress is not as poofy as it originally appeared. Instead, the mattress is making like an airfoil and is lifted up at a 45 degree angle, with the open end at the front. Driver is oblivious to it all. Bet his gas mileage really sucked on that trip. Glad it didn't break loose when I was behind him.
Stoopid thing on the slopes later that day: I'm riding up the Ramrod/Gunbarrel lift and hear a commotion to my right. I look over and ski a skier (minus skis) in between the netting supporting the wall of snow built up on the trail and the snow itself. The snow surface is at his chest. Two ski patrollers in the chair ahead of me shout to him if he's OK, and he's like, yep, no prob. Just call me Spiderman.
Ok I need to jump in here, not with a stupid thing I've seen, but more like a stupid thing I've done.
At some point in time in our lives we were all newbies to the slopes. For some of us that was at age 5... for others that was at age 16 like myself. In `96 the high school did take a ski trip to Canaan for those students who didn't have detentions or any bad discimplinary action against them. The trip to Canaan was a blast as that was the first time I had ever been on or seen a ski slope in person before. It was at that time the principle paid for private lessons for beginners while the majority of others ran off on their own. I came away that day managing not to kill myself on the TimberTrail.
Come to March 2001 when I was in college and a high school friend invited me to go skiing with him and his brothers at Timberline. The stupidity starts when I was at Tlines rental shop and the girl asked me, "Are you a beginner, intermediate, or advanced skiier?" I replied with how do I know the difference. Her response was, "Oh, if you have been skiing before you are probably an intermediate." and proceeded to give me 190+ straight edge skis. I should have known something wasn't right when I couldn't ski from the lodge to the lift without crossing tips 10 times.
Well I finally make it to the lift with Bryan and Andrew. We get on and are riding to the top. Since this was the first time I had ever ridden that lift to the top I had no idea what to expect. I was gawking around looking at other things rather than worring about getting off. Before I realize it Bryan and Andrew are skiing down off infront of me, I'm still on the chair and the chair is starting to make it's turn around the bullwheel, so I kamakazee jump off thinking it's a foot to the bottom. WRONG! I plunged off that chair into the hardest patch of ice I've ever felt while having the lift attendants among others unable to control their laughter at me.
There is a few more stories I'll add later... like including getting a concussion on the Salamander and seeing my friend Bryan go glading at the top of the Salamander and get clotheslined by a tree.
This isn't really a stupid thing but it was certainly an interesting thing. A few years ago I was traveling back from Seven Springs late one night after a few inches of snow had fallen. Well we were going westbound on 31 when a Snowmobile passed us at about 70 miles an hour. def the first time I have ever been passed by a snowmobile.
This is another post that falls under the "stupid things that I've done" category, rather than things that I've seen. A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away (actually it was approximately 1978, and it was definitely at Hidden Valley)I was night-skiing with a buddy of mine at Hidden VAlley. This was just after a significant snowstorm, and there was probably a foot of almost fresh powder on the slopes, which plays a central part in my story. We were riding the lift up either Stingray or Continental (memory is a little fuzzy after 25 years) but I do recall it was a double lift, whereas both of those slopes now have quad lifts.
In any case, it was at night and it was bitterly cold and windy, and about two-thrids of the way up to the top of the lift, the lift stopped. We figured it was the usual case of a newbie falling while entering/exiting the lift, and that we'd be underway again in a minute or two...but that wasn't the case. We sat there freezing our tails for a good 20 miinutes or more. Finally my buddy asked if I'd lift the restraining bar so he could 'look at something'. When I lifted the bar, he leaned forward and jumped off of the chair - he landed on his feet, totally unharmed. It was only maybe a 12-foot drop, and the snow was fresh and pretty soft, so I figured what the Heck. So I did the same thing - I landed on my feet, although I did fall onto my side, but I stood up immediately and off we went. The folks behind us on the lift erupted into cheers, wolf-calls etc.
I don't know that many of the chairlifts today are low enough to be able to safely jump off, and I'm certainly not advocating that anyone do it. But it has provided quite a story to pass onto my kids - of course, my wife isn't happy that I've mentioned it to them, so I've prefaced the story with the required 'you should never do this' warning.
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This is another post that falls under the "stupid things that I've done" category, rather than things that I've seen. A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away (actually it was approximately 1978, and it was definitely at Hidden Valley)I was night-skiing with a buddy of mine at Hidden VAlley. This was just after a significant snowstorm, and there was probably a foot of almost fresh powder on the slopes, which plays a central part in my story. We were riding the lift up either Stingray or Continental (memory is a little fuzzy after 25 years) but I do recall it was a double lift, whereas both of those slopes now have quad lifts.
In any case, it was at night and it was bitterly cold and windy, and about two-thrids of the way up to the top of the lift, the lift stopped. We figured it was the usual case of a newbie falling while entering/exiting the lift, and that we'd be underway again in a minute or two...but that wasn't the case. We sat there freezing our tails for a good 20 miinutes or more. Finally my buddy asked if I'd lift the restraining bar so he could 'look at something'. When I lifted the bar, he leaned forward and jumped off of the chair - he landed on his feet, totally unharmed. It was only maybe a 12-foot drop, and the snow was fresh and pretty soft, so I figured what the Heck. So I did the same thing - I landed on my feet, although I did fall onto my side, but I stood up immediately and off we went. The folks behind us on the lift erupted into cheers, wolf-calls etc.
I don't know that many of the chairlifts today are low enough to be able to safely jump off, and I'm certainly not advocating that anyone do it. But it has provided quite a story to pass onto my kids - of course, my wife isn't happy that I've mentioned it to them, so I've prefaced the story with the required 'you should never do this' warning.
I noticed that a lot of the older chair lift sag a ton. Obn the double chair at Laurel Mtn last week it seemed that in the middle of every set of poles the chair woudl dip down to maybe 6 ft above the snow. ![](/ubbthreads22/images/graemlins/smile.gif)
How about this at Montage last month... A couple of obviously testosterone-laden teens walk by us at the lodge accompanied by their girlfriends, proudly wearing their boarding pants more than halfway down their navel (Would someone let me know the functionality of this way of vestment?) We did wonder and remarked how on earth they could move on a sport that requires agility like snowboarding... Fast forward to the slopes: As we're going up the lift up Boomer, one of the black trails, right under us the same gentlemen at a high rate of speed followed by their female entourage at slower pace ... one of the guys catching a branch, falling down on his back headfirst... steep terrain... falling ... inevitable yard sale... gloves in the air, hat flying about... boarding pants riding up his legs as the body rides down... Yes, pants riding up all the way to his ankles... It was obvious the gentleman was wearing "commando" style... Snow obviously entering... well... Fall stopped, guy unhurt, girls meet up with them, obviously loud laughter going on... Fast forward another 20 minutes, we're enjoying our cup of hot chocolate at the lodge, in comes the four of them, three still laughing, one with a beet-red face... both of them now with their pants riding at the waist....
You're right, the older lifts do tend to sag a bit.In addition to the double at Laurel, the triple at Canaan Valley (I think it's called Weiss) has a fair amount of sag up near the top. I don't think that lift is terribly old...maybe the cables just develop some 'fles' after awhile.
I've done the "OH CRAP!!" head duck on skiers left of Squirel Cage at Wisp a few times. I don't think its cause the lifts sag, I think its cause they put like a 12 foot base of snow on that trail.
Wouldn't it be a lot cheaper to run a lift with less sag? I guess you can only tighten the cable as good as the bullwheels are anchored and counterweighted though.
Last weekend at TLine - man tells chest-high son they were going to ski the expert slopes. The boy immediately says no - I don't ski good enough and don't want to. The man then tells the boy you know how to snow-plow so you can ski anything....
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You would not believe how many people I've coached down Off the Wall when they think they can't make it. It's always a pleasure... you see them struggling, barely staying on their feet, often not. Here comes this boarder ripping down the bulletproof ice, stops, looks at you, "Lean forward, attack it, keep your hands infront of you, square your chest with the fall line and let your knees do the bulk of the work." They give you this look of disbelief and some even begin to point at the board strapped to my feet. "Oh, I probably forgot to mention that I skied for 13 years." Then I disappear.
I've jumped off a few lifts in my lifetime... only once did I "ask" for permission... something about the Vader being broken and sitting over feet of fresh snow right at the top a few feet from the unloading area for 20 minutes wasn't too pleasing... so I yelled and went. Winterplace has the lift you can pretty much ride right off of... as long as you ollie/duck the rope at the bottom.
My one huge stupid occurred back in 6th grade. I was on an elementary ski trip to Winterplace on a Thursday night. Now, mind you nothing at WP challenged me. I had a friend who could keep up and skied pretty well. We gunned it to Turkey Chute to try to get it in before close. We made it right as the patrol was pulling the rope. I nodded at the guy and dropped-in... SOLID ICE. I couldn't even stop... no getting out of it now. My buddy just rode off laughing as did the Patroller. Ugh... doing inadvertant on-snow 360s on solid ice moguls is about as much fun as serving a death sentence in Texas.
Don't be too hard on the parents with kids on the blacks. When my 5 year old was blasted out of his mittens by a newby boarder on a green, I started taking him to the blacks. That was 6 years ago, and now he can ski most anything anywhere ... well.
Last Friday at 7Springs. Took a HC break around 11:00 am. This guy's on a stool in the Goggle, $900s worth of jacket & pants, ski patches from every big name ski area sewn on, wearing a ball cap, drinking a beer, playing with his cell phone and schmoozing/harassing the bartenders. Looked like he must be a star. Anyway, I finished my day aroung 2:30 & went back in for a lager or two and guess what. Mr. Ski Patch is still sitting in the same stool; bartender says he's been there since 10:30 and they're going to do a happy dance as soon as he leaves. OK here's the stoopid part; this guy's sitting 6 hours in the biggest watering hole @7S with the hose from his camelbak hanging over his shoulder, i guess in case he gets thirsty?
One of the night skiing stories above remined me of a story from my days back in Ohio. It's 1988 and were skiing the now defunct Sugarcreek (200 vert, two fixed quads, one rope) in Belbrook. It was one of the all night deals where you ski from something like 10 pm until 3 am.
Not surprisingly it was pretty cold (probably near zero) and I dear this one girl I know to stick her tongue to the chair. She does it and is stuck just like the kid in A Christmas Story. She can't get off the lift and trips the safety bar. The attendant had to use his hot coffee to free her. People behind us were not too happy, but I was laughing pretty good.
Monk,
![](http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif)
Kinda Like this?
-Warren-
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Jimmy: Sounds like a pretty cool guy. Which brings me to a question that I may not want the answer to
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I put a sticker from every ski area I go to on my board. Am I a gaper, picker, patcher or sticker because of it or am I still cool cause my board cost $150, pants $30, coat $100 Christmas gift, and my stickers are mostly from places like Snow Trails in Ohio and Timberline with a couple from Colorado. I also don't like to talk to people in a bar for more than 5 minutes and would rather spend my time boarding than talking to a bartender. Please let me know so I can pull the putty knife out as soon as I get home
Monk: That's good stuff. They shoulda just let her spin around and around until the end of the day like on Dumb and Dummer
Warren: Where you get those smileys? I could see the ROTFLMAO coming but where the heck did LTPNPMTO (Licked The Pole Now Pulling My Tounge Off) come from?
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Steady Higgins, Put the putty knife down and no one gets hurt!
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Sounds like your outer wear is in the same price range as mine! I just wonder if he got a 7S patch to sew on as a momento of his day in the foggy goggle. I myself like to wear a trail pin or two and when I get a helmet I'll proudly wear some stickers. Maybe 7S needs a Foggy Goggle pin, you know, a barstool and maybe a pitcher of beer? I've definitly earned one of those.
jimmy
JR,
I found them at
Smiley Central They've all kinds of great smileys. Check it out...
-Warren-
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